Hanging a Door in 3 Easy Steps!

It seems like I've been posting exclusively about doors for about 2 months now. Well, loyal readers, I can proudly say that we have a new door on the upstairs bathroom! On Saturday, Max stayed all day at his Nanni's, so Kendra and I took that opportunity to knock out a bunch of home improvement projects, including the new bathroom door. Here's a step-by-step in case any of you are contemplating a similar project.

Step 1: After realizing that there is a 3-inch-gap between the existing bathroom door and the floor (no joke), and realizing that the existing bathroom door is originally from the hall closet, remove the existing bathroom door and hang it on the hall closet (now a laundry room).

Step 1(a): Okay, then you need to find a door to put on the upstairs bathroom. There are a ton of old doors hanging around, surely one of those will fit, right?

Step 1(a)(i): Nope, none of the other doors seem to fit. They are either too short or too long.

Step 1(a)(ii): After measuring every "spare" door in the house twice, locate a door that seems to be the proper dimensions. Since it is from an old closet, you can probably just live without the door on the closet until you buy a new door many years in the future. Pause and admire your resourcefulness.

Step 1(b): Haul replacement door upstairs to the bathroom. realize that you don't have the proper hinges to install on the frame, so steal hinges from another closet door that is rarely used.

Step 1(c): Hang replacement door in bathroom door frame. Swing door closed, and realize that the replacement door is about 1/4" too wide for the frame, so the door will not close.

Step 1(c)(i): Argue with your wife, since she is the primary user of the upstairs bathroom, and now doesn't have the ability to close the door. Blame it on someone/thing else. Do not admit fault under any circumstances.

Step 1(c)(ii): Proclaim that you will fix the problem as soon as possible. Consider nominating yourself for husband of the year.

Step 2: Two weeks later, measure door frame for trip to Lowe's to buy new door. Rather than take the written measurements with you to Lowe's, just remember that you need a 32" door.

Step 2(a): Once you get to Lowe's, remember that your door frame is an odd measurement and that your door will accordingly need to be cut. Realize that Lowe's will cut the door for you and save you the trouble. Remember that you left the precise measurements at home.

Step 2(a)(i): Call your wife and have her measure the doorway. Make sure, though, that you have the good tape measure with you, so that your wife has to use a seamstress's tape measure. Tell her to measure inside the frame, and let you know the smallest measurement.

Step 2(a)(ii): When you call your wife, make sure you call her when she already has her hands full dealing with your 14-month-old son. This will make her very happy.

Step 2(b): Have Lowe's cut your door according to the measurements relayed from your wife.

Step 2(b)(i): Prime and paint the door (or, talk your wife into doing it).

Step 2(c): Carry the door upstairs to place it in the door way and make sure it fits.

Step 2(c)(i): The f***ing door doesn't fit.

Step 2(c)(ii): Argue with your wife over whose fault it is that the door doesn't fit. Do not admit fault under any circumstances.

Step 2(c)(iii): Realize that when you told your wife to let you know the smallest measurement, she did exactly as you asked and measured between the stops on the inside of the frame, making the door 1/2" too narrow.

Step 2(d): For probably the 10th time, MEASURE THE INSIDE OF THE DOOR FRAME. For probably the 11th time, MEASURE THE INSIDE OF THE DOOR FRAME. Go to Lowe's with the measurements, have them cut a new door, and bring it home.

Step 2(d)(i): Prime and paint the new door.

Step 3: Block out the whole day to plan for the install of the door.

Step 3(a): Place the new door in the frame; it appears to fit. Measure the location of the hinge mortises on the frame, and mark the corresponding locations on the door.

Step 3(a)(i): Chisel the mortises into the door.

Step 3(a)(ii): Realize that you chiseled on the inside of the door, but the hinges attach on the outside. Go ahead and chisel mortises all the way across the side of the door.

Step 3(b): Attach hinges, and hang the door. Hold your breath as you close the door. Exhale in relief when the door fits perfectly.

Step 3(c): Install an old rim lock and doorknob on the door.

Step 3(c)(i): Mark the location on the frame where the catch for the rim lock will need to be installed. Cut out the notch in the frame, and attach the catch with screws.

Step 3(c)(i)(A): Close the door, and realize that the catch sticks out JUST enough so that the door won't close properly. Consider arson as a viable home improvement option.

Step 3(c)(i)(B): Remove the catch, and shave off a bit more of the frame so that the catch and lock work properly.

Step 3(c)(ii): Use wood filler in the old screw holes used for attaching the catch.

Step 3(c)(iii): Wait for two hours for the wood filler to dry.

Step 3(c)(iv): Install catch with two screws.

Step 3(d): Swing door closed, and listen with relief when you hear that beautiful "click." Consider yourself a poor man's Bob Vila.

And that's it! Remember, with just three potential replacement doors, one month's time, the purchase of several new tools, no fewer than two domestic disputes, and about a dozen man-hours, you too can install a new door into an existing frame. It really is as easy as it sounds!

Door Drama

It's been over two weeks since I posted last, yet I feel like we haven't done anything. Well, that's not entirely true. We have installed new wireless doorbells, but that barely counts as home improvement. Kendra laid out the latest in doors, lights, and closets, but most of that post concerned work that was done by others. I did manage to run new wire and install a light in the hall coat closet; that's got to count for something, I suppose.

So what has actually been keeping us busy lately? Those stinkin' doors. Here's the situation--there are no doors on the kitchen pantry, upstairs bathroom (well, there used to be a door there until I got it in my head that I needed to switch it out with another door, and then it turned out the replacement door didn't fit), Max's closet, or the master closet. The big priority is the bathroom door, of course. That one has Kendra a little steamed at me because that is the bathroom she uses the most. The second priority is the pantry door, because (1) our dog likes to drag things out of the pantry that we leave on the lower shelves, and (2) Max flips out when he looks in the pantry and sees good things to eat (he says, "Naa! Naa!", which roughly translates into "Snack! Snack!" in 14-month-old-speak).

As I've said before, we purchased and painted a new bi-fold door for the pantry but, since we live in an old home, the doorways aren't "standard" sized. So we had to cut the door down a bit, but I didn't get it right and we have to shave a little bit more off the side. Not a big deal, except that I don't own a saw. That was frustrating enough, but that is nothing compared to the ordeal that has become our door situation.

A couple weeks ago, I finally went to Lowe's to buy a door for the upstairs bathroom. As you might suspect, that doorway is not "standard" either, so as I was picking out a new door, the thought occurred to me that I could have Lowe's cut it so I wouldn't have to borrow the saw from my brother again. I pulled out my phone, called Kendra, and asked her to measure the opening. Apparently, though, there was a miscommunication, and I ended up bringing home a door that was about 1/2" too narrow for the bathroom. We both blamed each other for the door screw-up, natch. This did not enhance our marital harmony that week.

Fortunately, the too-small door will fit the master closet if we just trim it down a bit more, so buying it wasn't a complete waste. But that still left us without a door for the upstairs bath. So off to Lowe's I went (again), with my twice-measured door dimensions handy, to get a new door for the bathroom. I got the door home and Kendra primed and painted it.

So after all that, here's where we stand: we have a bi-fold pantry door that is primed and painted, but still is a tad too wide for the opening. It will need to be trimmed about a 1/4" and then installed. We have a primed and painted door for our upstairs bathroom. It may need to be trimmed slightly, but should be the proper dimensions. We will need to chisel mortises for the hinges and attach one of the extra rim locks we have to the door. And we also have a primed and painted door for the master closet. Installing that door is very, very far down our priority list, and will involve installing stops inside the frame, mortising hinges, and installing a knob.

Finish What You Start

There are ups and downs to living in the house while there is still substantial work to be done. On the plus side, we no longer have to plan our weekends around 40-mile trips to a house without furniture or any means of cooking food (and typically in a snow/ice storm). On the down side, however, I keep finding myself with, say, an hour of free time to tackle a project on a whim that takes three hours to complete. This haphazard approach to home remodeling has left us with the following:

• A new wooden, bi-fold door my brother and I cut to fit the kitchen pantry, yet remains unpainted and uninstalled.
• Power ran to the non-functioning (and previously powerless) doorbell, which still doesn't work for some unknown reason.
• All the materials purchased and assembled to install a new light in the coat closet, but the install itself is on hold because I don't have any tool right now that will cut the lathe board.
  
• And my favorite: a door on the upstairs bathroom that doesn't fit the doorway because I took the old door off to fit onto the previously door-less laundry room, and I didn't thoroughly measure the "new" bathroom door before hanging it in the bathroom, and now it is about 1/4" too wide.

I've definitely lost my focus, and it's showing in my recent remodeling efforts. Remember just a few weeks ago, when I was espousing our One Room A Month Plan? I wish I could consistently bring that type of focus to the table, but right now I feel like I'm just hopping around from task to task as the mood strikes me. And the maddening part is that I don't even care! I like living in the house, and I think that's causing me to overlook all the little imperfections that should be driving me crazy, but are not. But things can't go on like this forever. Some of these projects need to be finished before starting others. In fact, right now Kendra is priming that pantry door, so maybe we can start checking off some of these items off the "to-do" list. I even hear there are rumors of a trip to Lowe's and Home Depot this weekend . . .